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THE HUMAN EXPERIENCE

Last night, after an intense conversation with the love of my life, I got to pondering about the concept of "feeling." We feel stuff all the time. But how many of us actually truly FEEL it? We live in a modern day society were prescriptions are handed out by Western medicine faster than a sneeze and illegal street drugs are now sold via internet! Take this for depression, this for anxiety, this for your aliment, take this for that and that for this, swallow, snort, inject.....Oh my. Am I judging? No. I am applying discernment. Simply observing not just those around me, but taking an even closer look at myself. Am I too quick to find a way out of the dark? It is common for me to run from anything negative that runs through my body. I read Self Help books, blog, exercise, meditate, and apply Eastern medicines such as Reiki in my routines. There are moments I pat myself on the back for the ability and strength to find such healthy coping mechanisms, but then again, maybe...just maybe..there are some moments in life where it is OKAY to well, just be sad. To sit with self, be still, and feel that level of sadness. I realized this week that I never seem to allow myself to be in that space because I once saw it as a weakness to be anything less than grateful and happy. The weakness is actually the running. Coping is wonderful. Running is a pattern of behavior. As I sit and type this, my mother is about 1,000 miles away receiving her 10th and last Radiation treatment to her brain. My husband is somewhere on base attempting to absorb as much information as possible during the next 3 months of training, as he Deploys in January. My Facebook feed is filled with horrors of Hurricane Damage, lost loved ones, and every day concerns. As I dive deeper into my Spirituality, I have come to terms with that fact that there just may be some small amount of beauty within that sadness. Allowing myself to be present in reality and to FEEL. After all, that is why we are here living this human experience on Earth. To grow inside the discomfort, to learn from ourselves, and to teach others how to heal. I no longer fear getting lost in the darkness because I have realized.....I am made of light. We are all made of light.

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