I grew up in and around the dance industry. I was enrolled into my first class at age 9 and by the time I was 13, I was competing. I disliked the competition stage immediately. It was as if dance went from fun to cut-throat, over night. After two years of competition, I went back to recreational dance class. Year after year, I took the stage in countless recitals, right up until my early 20's. But no matter what, the air of competition was always near. If it wasn't about winning a trophy, then it was about best solo, or best costume. About "best" anything, really.
By the age of 25, I transitioned easily from the world of dance to the world of Dance Fitness. Zumba was huge and I couldn't jump in fast enough. Surprisingly, what I saw as a child, I saw even more as an adult. The behind the scenes wars that existed in the fitness industry were shocking.
"You stole my music." "That's my routine!" "I am the best." "My class is the most fun." "I have the most packed out classes!" "My prices are the lowest." ....shall I continue?
The worst part was not what I was seeing, but what I was participating in. I would love to throw shade and cast judgement, but it would only be upon myself. I went right down that rabbit hole into all the darkness and mirrored so many behaviors, thoughts, and actions. I too, at that time, sought to be the best. And the Universe took it all away. And I am grateful. So very grateful. I had almost lost myself.
My love for dance and fitness still exists, and I have transitioned deeper into the Wellness Industry. Today, I am super active inside the world of Spirituality. I cannot get enough. I am obsessed with learning everything i can about energy healing, locating your inner Goddness, meditation, releasing the past, Reiki, crystals, etc etc. I could go on for pages! I feel wrapped in light and surrounded by fellow peace-keepers, teachers, and healers.
Maybe it's that pesky Virgo moon or perhaps, I am just gaining some awareness, but I have slowly picked up a very familiar vibe I sadly know all too well.
"I started that circle." "That's my Yoga class." "You copied me." "You stole what I was teaching." "I am more spiritual than you."
I sit silently and watch interactions that have nothing to do with me. Nor will they ever. And it is because I will choose to use that experience from my own past studio...that experience that washes over me like a salty beach wave and I hear, "Nope, not again." I am proud of all that I have learned and as a THANK YOU to the Universe, this is realm in which I shall finally apply it. I am in competition with no one. Well, maybe just myself. Striving to be better than I was yesterday. Seeking those beautiful teachers that will keep me grounded and balanced. My ego has once lied to me in the past and may even try to lie to me again. But this time, I will dismiss her.
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