RE-THINKING IT

I love being an entrepreneur. I loved it especially up in New York. Becoming a little mini fitness guru was the easiest and most rewarding career to date. It was so exciting to move South and take that to the next level by incorporating more of what I was truly passionate about; Wellness. I dove head first into the world of Eastern medicine and absorbed as much as I could, while also invoking many of my natural abilities. Reiki and Life Coaching became a beautiful addition to teaching women to Dance during Hip Hop Cardio Classes. Mind, Body, and Soul. A career all by itself!

Sadly, the entrepreneur life has me feeling stuck and frustrated. I often feel as if I am spending more time convincing other's rather than inviting. I've even caught myself defending my own belief system against those who saw Reiki as anti-religious. I am not a pusher or a born sales-man. I do not wish to force things onto others. In fact, that way of being saddens my spirit. I believe in connectivity, inspiring empowerment, and leading with a pure and positive heart. However, I am growing exhausted with "chasing money." Maybe it's the South. Maybe it's living in a military town. Or perhaps, neither. Maybe it's simply the Universe's way of inviting me to alter my own perception.

I used to watch those around me working their 9-5 jobs and hating them, often daydreaming about the moment they can retire and finally be able to "live their lives." That never made sense to me. Life is now! I vowed to be happy every day, no matter what. To never be a slave to money or feel trapped in anyways. Today, I reflect....

Has my system of "sticking it to the man" truly worked? In the last 4 months I took 2 trips to NY to visit my family, and both times, someone else paid for that plane ticket. I feel embarrassed and defeated. I am 33 and have little to show for it. My dreams of opening and running a Wellness Center are very real, but not as real as reality. I am currently standing at a fork in the road and re-thinking about it all. I tell myself that I am not quitting, but merely hitting the pause button. Sometimes I believe it. Either way, be it failed efforts or an unfit community, I think that it may be finally time that I grow up and clock in.

I shall continue to ponder over this new point of view.....